When Melanie Armstrong had an Amazon package delivered to her Oklahoma home last week, she thought it would be safe on the front porch — especially since it was placed under the watchful eye of a life-sized skeleton named Skelly.
Since Armstrong wasn’t home at the time, the delivery driver tucked the package into Skelly’s lap for extra security.
“He was there to protect the package,” Armstrong joked to The Dodo. “I even have video of the Amazon driver lifting Skelly’s hand and putting the package underneath it.”
Unfortunately, Skelly’s guard duties didn’t go as planned.
When Armstrong returned home, the package — which contained an order from Victoria’s Secret — had vanished without a trace. At first, she was baffled.
“I didn’t get a doorbell alert for a person,” Armstrong said. “So I went back and watched the footage. And then I just lost it laughing.”
The security video revealed the culprit: a very confident dog trotting up to the porch, grabbing the package straight from Skelly’s lap, and carrying it off like a prize — while another dog stood nearby as lookout.
Armstrong shared the footage with the Choctaw Police Department, and it quickly became a local favorite.
“I was angry, shocked, amazed — but mostly just amused,” Armstrong said. “I mean, what a smart dog!”
As it turns out, the furry porch pirate wasn’t a stranger at all.
“They’re my next-door neighbor’s dogs,” Armstrong said. “He came over the next night holding all my underwear and was absolutely mortified.”
To receive a replacement order, Armstrong still had to file a police report — though there were clearly no hard feelings.
“Those dogs looked way too happy for me to stay mad,” she said.
Skelly has since been officially retired from package protection, replaced by a proper delivery box. And while Armstrong never expected her missing package to turn into such a spectacle, she’s taking the attention in stride.
“I guess I’m the neighborhood Karen now — over panties,” she joked. “I see the dogs all the time and just tell them how ridiculous they are.”
Even Skelly couldn’t stop a determined thief — especially one with four legs and a wagging tail.
